I'm 13 again...

Something funny happens in your brain when you enter the 30 somethings.  You start to go back to junior high when it comes to how you feel about your body and your looks—a tidbit insecure.  WHY you ask?  And maybe I can only speak for myself, but I’ve seen evidence of this in a few friends as well.  Here’s my train of thought:  I am a mother of 6 and I have spent the last 14 ½ years of my life fully immersing myself in the world of babies and figuring out how to do this motherhood thing.  Here is the cycle: (those of you who are moms out there with more than one child will truly appreciate…)

·      Regular pre-baby body self (which we only THINK is mildly ok, but really is SMOKIN’ HOT!—oh how we took things for granted then)

·      Pregnant body-continual gain of weight and expanding of ribs.

·      NINE MONTH pregnant body-nothing fits, not even your maternity clothes.

·      Post baby body—after stepping on the scale, “Wait, I did have the baby right?!?”

·      Nursing baby body—weight starts to drop. YAY!

·      Post nursing baby body—weight yo-yo’s, but then hopefully stabilizes for a minute.

·      OH!  SURPRISE! Pregnant body… again.

Then in my case, repeat the cycle 5 more times, plus more ups and downs in between babies.

In between babies I think I counted 6 different sizes uh, categories of clothes in my closet at one time. BIG SIGH.

BUT, Would I trade that cycle for anything? Nope.  Not for anything.  Here are the 6 reasons why:  

Judge for yourself. :)

That being said, it is now time to somewhat recapture my old self.  Notice the use of the word, “SOMEWHAT”.  Because here’s the deal, I will never be that old, young girl I once was, and I wouldn’t want to be.  Having babies has given me life experience and amazing opportunities for growth.  Each one expanded my heart, my capacity to love and DO, and forced me out of countless comfort zones.  I feel more seasoned, more wise, and more kind and understanding.  Becoming a mother does that for you.  Children are a gift and raising them is an honor—one in which I often feel very inadequate to do, but nonetheless, it is a more than worthwhile pursuit. 

Now that I’ve waxed philosophical about becoming a mother and raising children, here’s me standing on the soapbox of taking care of one’s self.  I promised in my opening post that I would focus this blog on the growth and creating of one’s physical, spiritual, intellectual, and emotional qualities.  Well, I’m here to say that trying to “recoup” your old self pretty much incorporates ALL of that. 

So back to the junior high school of thought: Because the immersion of motherhood is so all encompassing, suddenly, when you’re done having kids, you realize that you’ve lost your old self along the way.  So at 30 something, (or 40 something if you’re a later bloomer) you try to get it back, but in new ways.

Hence, this post is a catalyst for SO many different things that I’m working on right now.  With all of those ups and downs, here’s what happens when you’re done having kids: your body is kinda shot, unless you’re a turbo runner type that is out running until your protruding pregnant belly won’t allow it anymore—for my friend Alecia; that’s at 7 months. She’s amazing.

Anywho, MY body has been shot.  My core is a mess, my gums and teeth are all different (more on that later), my skin is sagging, the stretch marks are prevalent everywhere. And that’s just the physical part of things.  My wardrobe has been hurting for years, and then there’s the whole issue of redefining and adjusting what YOU like to do and what drives you, since you know, eventually, these kids WILL be in school all day, and the little pitter-patter of darling feet become big man-child feet and start to show you their independence.

In SHORT…

EVERYTHING IS JUST DIFFERENT.

AND SO, my old junior high insecurities are trying to rear their ugly head.  You know, like “Is this outfit cute?” Or, “I wish my hips were as small as (fill in blank).” Or even, “Will she want to be friends with me?  Oh, pick me! Pick me!” Seriously????

I am daily trying to say,

“NO!  BE  GONE! BANISH AND AWAY ILLIGITIMATE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS!”

That is helping to a degree, and now, I seek to create my new post, 6-baby having self.  Besides, what 36-year-old mom in her right mind would WANT to look like she’s back in junior high?

  Point made. 

Stay tuned folks for more interesting endeavors ahead on this front….